July 23, 2008

The past few weeks have been rather eventful on sooo many levels! But first… let me just say I got my first Chanel 2.55! I want to get it cleaned though, and have the leather repaired. I am contemplating switching the silver hardware for the gold… but maybe I’ll leave it for now. It’s a classic flap 🙂 I am tres happy.

The past few weeks have been filled with lazy days, busy days, fun days… haha. That sorta thing. Been going for Mambo quite a bit although I’ve laid off it for two weeks now. Been catching with friends over drinks; just last week I met up with Stevo and Andre for drinks at Indochine where a very clever Steven lost his cardholder haha. I’ve been out with my lovely girls who came back from Melbourne… eating, shopping, clubbing, playing guitar heroes (hehe!) and hanging out at Cafe del Mar. Looking forward to next week’s East Coast outing where we’re gonna have CRAB NIGHT @ Long Beach anddd I hope to go prawning and we’re gonna take Gdine’s and Sam’s cameras out for a spin! Think crazy snaps – DSLR, Polaroid, Holga, Fisheye! I love photography ❤

Last weekend I checked out the Notts pre-departure seminar. I met some people (potential classmates! woohoo!) and spoke to a couple of seniors. I am now quite keen on going to Notts because I do like the whole feel of a campus uni because it means more culture. And I am all for uni culture and I love the system of halls! I love the fact that there is room for a sort of collegiate experience. It is something I’ve always wanted out of a uni. Quality/prospects wise Notts and Bristol are kind of in the same league for law. There are people in the Magic Circle firms, in the judiciary… and definitely people in Goldman Sachs (woohoo!). Back home here there’s A&G which loves Notts grads so it’s really awesomeness! The crowd at Notts look a bit more chill and look like my kinda people. Also helps that I know people there already 🙂 I am thinking about even asking Bristol to release me for Notts! I’ve got my unconditional from them now anyway soooo… teehee!

I am so glad to be home. It’s been so nice to sleep in every other day, go out on some adventure.. like Val and i did yesterday! We decided to seek out the Red Cross place at Opera Estate and go thrifting. It wasn’t the easiest to find but we did get there soon enough! We ended up running into Ivan’s mum hahaha. Who gave us a lift out of the estate when she left to pick him up from work. Thanks aunty Lisa 🙂 Then we went to Ikea and tried looking all these homely stuff. Bleah

I hope my mail comes today. If it does, I’m going out with DG pub crawling tonight teehee. And fix my chanel. Anddd go shopping with him for his girlfriend!

62 days till Notts! Woohoo! (i know it’s a bit weird because i used to be so keen on Bristol; but what really swayed it for me was the fact that there are plenty of city firms taking Notts grads. and i did more research and then i found more people and i realised… i still love bristol. it’s such a beautiful city and i’d be more than happy to go as well; but putting them side by side i still would rather rough it out a little and have the nice campus live and experience collegiativity! i’d really like that. and notts allows you to focus more too. and the city is hot for shopping & clubs! what more could i ask for? plus a good lot of students who are gunning for the same quality education around me? Notts ftw!)



June 25, 2008

Yesterday was a really good day 🙂 In summary:

1) I met Patty & Lulu for lunch at Cova, this new patisserie at Paragon 🙂 We shared a nice ham & cheese panini, a vegetariano panini and a tartufo cake for dessert. We talked about what has changed since we left, how things have changed, progressed, fears, hopes… we talked of friends past and new. It was nice!

2) I got offered a temp job at Frost & Sullivan!

3) I was asked to work on a songwriting project that will come up in August. I am thinking of taking up the role of Logistics I/C for the project… but still in the midst of consideration!

4) Got an invite to Mambo tonight… I was wondering when exactly to go because everyone seems so busy.

5) Got another invite to MOS on Thursday… but I’ll see. I’m not sure if I can deal with all of this at once!

On the whole I must say I am very happy to be back 🙂 I like to think that everything else is peripheral; and it does not take much to convince me when I’m occupied… yet when I am not they come back to me. Yet this has taught me a whole new lesson on what it means to trust in Him 100%, that He will reveal all things in His time, that ultimately one’s actions and words tell the thoughts of the mind and the true feelings of the heart. I am slowly but surely becoming more contented, satisfied and confident in my place in Jesus… with everything I have. Which is a whole damn a lot of stuff!

I am starting to remember the talents and skills He has blessed me with, the hordes of friends I have, that all around me I have wonderful people who love me and care for me… I feel so blessed with my lot in life. Not everything is perfect, but I am contented. I am happy. After yesterday I really saw… that even people I haven’t spoken to in years care for me. We were taking a walk at 10pm and suddenly someone from a cafe shouted at us and came rushing by and said, “I know Mel just came back!” And I was shocked… but it made me see how silly I was to think that maybe in some people’s lives I have diminished in presence just because we barely communicate. Here was someone I have barely spoken to in all our years of friendship, yet this same person took the simple initiative to add me on facebook, to say hi, to give a smile, to even notice that I just came home! I am so, so thankful for all the people that have stayed up with me into the nights in the past few days, who have been (relentlessly) calling to ask “How are you? Can we meet for dinner? lunch? tea? coffee?” How silly I was to think that so much has changed since 9-10 months ago that people would forget about me, or busy their lives with other things. Yes, things change and people have changed but it is the greatest blessing to see that inspite of these changes they still treasure the relationships we share! How proud & wrong was I to think that I was the only one who bothered.

Relationships all take effort. They take commitment. And for all of that to fall in place it takes maturity. What makes it so hard is that these levels have to be matched by the two friends/parties involved. Love can be a happy thing, a great thing… but it can also be sad, and awful at times… but it is beautiful because it teaches us responsibility. Teaches us about choice. And it teaches us about putting other people before ourselves, it opens our eyes to see what kind of character/personality we ourselves possess. If in a relationship only one party is willing to put in the effort… if one party is only happy to be in a relationship if he/she feels the friendship or feels the feeling of “love” towards the other, it definitely needs reevaluation. And even when everything like that seems to fall in place, you need the grace of God to sustain it. It is more powerful that anyone can imagine… I’ve seen it in so many instances in my life and others I can’t deny its importance!

Ahh.. I have been rambling on. Butttt I AM SO GLAD TO BE HOME! Singapore is awesome 😛

Apathy’s Friendship.

June 16, 2008

i don’t usually advocate apathy in any situation or circumstance; yet in my current position i have learnt to find a certain sense of comfort in apathy…? Or at least i feel this is apathy. it’s not apathy borne out of indifference, it’s more like apathy as a defence mechanism to protect myself from disappointment, paranoia, hurt. it’s not easy to muster up this feeling of apathy for such a purpose… it involves a lot of hope & faith – hope that i won’t be hurt, betrayed or let down. yet hope – as we all know or seems like the case to me – is a feeling that is void of any form of assurance and that’s where faith comes in, the constant reminder to myself that i should believe that i am right in hoping and in believing… ah, it seems like such an intricate process. yet thinking about this and putting this in words helps me to be apathetic and helps take my mind off the otherwise suffocating worries that choke the very crevices of my mind and heart!

i am such an emotional wreck… thankfully i have God with me, that if nothing else i hope and have faith in Him… that if anything should fail He will catch me, and He will reveal things to me so that i will not be cheated or betrayed.

long distance relationships are hard… i can see why being ‘in love’ as a feeling, as an explosion of emotions cannot sustain a relationship… it is as C.S. Lewis said, that only love truly cultivated by habit, by will, by the willingness to be responsible for another can keep a relationship’s engine running.

Happy Father’s Day!

June 15, 2008

Today was almost like any other usual Sunday, although it was a tad different and made more special because Karin came to YM today 🙂 Glad she came! Patty did the sharing today on the Beatitudes… i guess i really need to learn how to find my place in God and rely on Him more. i’ve let quite a lot of things mask this important aspect of life with a cloud.. and sometimes its really nice to have a gentle reminder to give us a tug or a nudge to inch closer towards the narrow but straight path!

Since it was Father’s Day, and since i’ve been away for a rather lengthy time we decided to spend some time together as a family and watch a movie together 😛 i think my dad was keen on M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening but when he was reminded that said director was also responsibile for Signs which my father found rather disappointing, we settled for Kungfu Panda! Haiyaaah! haha. i loved it actually… although i was kind of amused/disgusted to find the similarities between Po’s (the Panda) appetite and mine in the scene where he was fighting with his master for the dumpling :/ Ahem.

Speaking of voracious appetites… I think mine just cost me kind of heavily 😦 Yet another intestinal infection! i hope it goes away, i really don’t want to relive my memories of going to the hospital in the middle of the night again.. blah.

Wonder what activities the coming week will bring.. one thing is for sure though, Lulu will be back on Saturday 😀 And i also hope that plans to cycle at the beach will materialise! i miss cycling so much! Definitely going to the gym, almost definitely going for a swim… My hands are actually itching to do some sketching… or craft! actually i don’t mind doing some painting but i’m sure as i get my canvas it will be sitting in a corner and i will be mulling day and night with hardly any inspiration on what to paint. plus i don’t know where my acrylics/oils have gone to and i might have given them away along with my collection of paintbrushes… and it’d be silly to go out and buy a whole new set of art supplies! hmm..?

OMG, my stomach is driving me insane with pain… ergh ok i think i’m gonna get some rest.

And of course i didn’t forget to say… a happy father’s day to my dad, who i am pretty sure will not read this… but nevertheless, i appreciate him for all the sacrifices he’s made, i respect him for the life he built not only for himself but for his family. For me, he is the example of a truly enterprising, hardworking and principled man. My dad is far from perfect and as a daughter there are many times i complain about his disciplinarian methods and his rather typical Asian form of parenting, but at the core of it all i know most – if not all – parents are the same: they all love their children as best as they possibly can and know how to do; the mistakes they make are inevitable but then again they are also undeniably, imperfectly human!